BJ's AnD S&M

BJ's AnD S&M


	Named after the creator, Mike, four most frequent posters, Brittany, Jason, Anna, Sarah and newest member Dorothy. archives Friday, May 31, 2002 QUEST has indeed come to an end and I can't say that I miss it. However, I will always be grateful to it for giving me the opprotunities it did. I don't think I would have had the motivation to do the things that QUEST forced me to do. All that's left are the senior events that were so carefully planned for us. And grad night is the end. I say goodbye to those who have become so near to me and watch as these last days fade into my memory. Exciting and depressing all at once. Am I afriad? Not as much as I thought I would be. It all seems part of the matrix style lives we live. Graduate and move on into the world. posted by Anonymous 9:07 PM Yeah...QUEST indeed. Goodbye, nice to know you. I didn't pass...the way I wanted to. So I decided to find my .22 squirrel killer and proceed to execute it military style. Blip. And the duty (or is it pleasure?) is done. Who else tossed their QUEST stuff? Why would you keep it? I think I'm not alone in finding an esoteric sort of satisfaction when doing away with things I don't need or hate. It just feels so...cleansing. So, next on the agena: pass the two classes I am currently NOT passing, then I can do away with high school altogether. Though...certain things make that un peu dificile. What would make it so? Well, I have my reasons, you go find yours. posted by Anonymous 8:54 PM Professor Manning suggests that I post. So here it is...: the Post. Bwa nah nah! posted by Anonymous 8:48 PM Thursday, May 30, 2002 gone under two times. I've been struck dumb by a voice that speaks from deep beneath the cold black water. It's twice as clear as heaven, and twice as loud as reason. It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed and just as undisturbing. the currents mouth below me opens up around me. suggests and beckons all while swallowing. It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away. But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable. shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up you're saturating me So how could I let this bring me back to my knees again again again under for the third time. I've been baptized by your voice. it screams from deep beneath the endless water. and it's half as high as heaven and half as clear as reason. it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed. But I'm so comfortable. Far too comfortable. Why don't you kill me, I'm weak and numb and insignificant, and I'm back on my knees. lost in euphoria. I'm back down. I'm in the undertow. I'm helpless and awake in the undertow. I'll die within your undertow. It seems there's no other way out of this undertow. euphoria. Tool-Undertow posted by Anonymous 11:28 PM big whoop... posted by Anonymous 11:24 PM I passed posted by Anonymous 11:24 PM superman, spiderman, whatever. its a typo. spiderman rocked..I passed QUEST, now I can THROW all my shit AWAY! I can't follow the deep thoughts trend going on here cause my mind is focused on that. If anyone's NOT busy on Saturday June 22nd between 2 and whenever, please come to my graduation party.... it's gonna be a bunch of my relatives and I dont want to be bored to tears but I think most people have plans that weekend. there'll be free food. there's an invitation on the board in CK's room. anyway.. quest. yay. maybe they really will still let me into my college. the most common characteristic is fear. lots of people are lazy but if you take out the ones that are lazy due to fear of change or fear of spraining a muscle or whatever, its fear. posted by Anonymous 2:14 PM 50 minutes until QUEST, im not nervous, i just want to get it over with... posted by Anonymous 12:36 PM Wednesday, May 29, 2002 Matt you are correct but i doubt youll go over. People tend to be very nervous and talk too fast ull probly be amazed at a time of 14 minutes or so. The most common characteristic is laziness. everyone has it just people overcome it. But no one really wants to get out of bed in the morning. We all have a desire to roll over and pick up a bat and smash the alarm into the next millenium. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 10:44 PM QUEST is the spawn of satan, may it burn in the pits of brimstone forever I just did a practice testimony and my time is 19:37, i swear im going to go over. posted by Anonymous 10:32 PM Tuesday, May 28, 2002 Perhaps it is the fear of the inevitable that drives us. that moment in sheer anticipation where the expected becomes the experienced, the needed becomes unneeded and the drive dissolves. Say for instance nietzche was right, happiness comes from the exercise of power, and power is that which drives us, if fear leads to anger and anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering therefore all human emotion can be condensed into Happiness and lack thereof. To bestow suffering on others means to exercise power, and thus experience happiness. To be transgressed upon shows a lack of power and therefore a lack of happiness, perhaps happiness can be described as a possesion and not merely an emotion. A particle by which all the laws of physics apply, momentum, particles and antiparticles, destruction, construction. Perhaps there is a set amount of happiness in the world by which no extra happiness can be created nor destroyed. therefore the amount of happiness can be considered equal to energy. And since energy is conserved you cannot inturn try to cheer someone up without being dragged down yourself. This would also entail that if happiness is set in motion like a wave, inertia would keep it spreading throughout the world. What if happiness has a positive charge and lack of happiness is negative, due to laws of charges, happiness is by nature attracted to those who are unhappy. Therefore if happiness has charge we can assume that it has a field, a field of happiness that warps space and time, after all time flys when youre having fun. This can explain why happiness can help us experience eternity in an hour. taking a mathematical approach: If power is work over time, therefore power is the average value of work done, or the integral of force over a potential difference with respect to time. If fear can lead to the dark side of the force therefore fear can define power and thus define happiness. Lack of fear is true happiness, a carefree life is the epitome of true pleasure, the climax of life. posted by Anonymous 9:01 PM GOAT CHEESE posted by Anonymous 1:22 PM Monday, May 27, 2002 Reply to Brit: 1. If you choose or let yourself play them well sorry thats just foolish 2. Every desperate person clings to hope 3. Its very human not female 4. Never move on from something you will regret. Always solve it or it will eat at you forever. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 10:36 PM The circumstances that life throws at someone can be truly confusing. Sometimes I ask myself why I let myself play these mind games that won't amount to anything except longing and dwelling. And yet, there are moments that spark a new dream and I cling to it like a moth to the flame. I relish in them. How female is that? In the end, it will fade away or it won't, but I will still have to move on and tell myself not to regret it. C'est la vie, you know? posted by Anonymous 10:27 PM mike youll appreciate this. others, maybe... PC: I hide in the dumpster. DM: The sniper fires a grenade into the dumpster. PC: I cover my eyes. posted by Jason 10:05 PM Superman song eh? Makes me wonder if you have even seen the spiderman movie. If you havent then you shouldnt say why they made the song...And it WAS made for the soundtrack, just like Stand Alone by Godsmack it is what bands do when they want to put new songs out there but dont wanna make an album its very common and a ridiculous reason to dislike a song. If there are other reasons fine. But if it is the sole reason Im sorry thats silly. All you people that want like moral/artistic ideals in whatever make me sick. Idealists make me sick. Hackers want everything to be open source. Huge music lovers like Meghan hate any band more than 20 people know;) Some people want advertising to have morals and see people as human beings not consumers etc. Well I say too bad. Welcome to reality! P.S. Just remember we have only women to blame for it. That damn apple and all. Poor man just trying to be a good husband and look where it got humanity. Let that be a lesson to all of you. Women are evil. HEHEH posted by Mikael, Shady, God 9:56 PM thanks for the backup meghan. but its the spiderman song, not the superman song : ) posted by Jason 8:02 PM my livejournal can only handle so much random crap so here is some random crap for you all... backtracking a little.. that superman song sucks because it seems like it was written only for the soundtrack and not out of any artistic or personal motives. it isn't original and doesn't really have any feeling. plus, I really dont like nickelback. i dont care if you like it but if someone's saying something about music I have to say something too. I saw Star Wars yesterday... it was entertaining, I guess. I might get to see the get up kids in a few weeks which, trust me, is cool. I need to go do all that creative writing work for beck... fun. posted by Anonymous 4:53 PM Sunday, May 26, 2002 ive hung out with mike since the beginning of last year, so i can understand why people would want to block him. but i think its pretty lame to do so. ya hes really aggressive in arguments, and seems to think everyone has to think his way, but hearing his arguments about stuff has often had a positive effect. first of all, hes USUALLY right. not always mike, but a majority of the time. even in random shit and that drives me crazy, but thats another story. also, hes always got an intelligent viewpoint (unless hes messing with you, but if thats the reason you block him maybe you should take your blanket and bottle and go home). so listening to his arguments forces me to consider other angles. he rarely convinces me to his point of view, but he normally just pulls me towards a more happy medium, which is something that is a great help. now there is a line between ignorance and intelligence, and the singular act of blocking mike doesnt make you ignorant, but everytime you block out an intelligent, articulate voice, like mikes (most of the time), youre taking a step closer to ignorance. posted by Jason 9:15 PM Thursday Im talking to Tim and he says "Everyone wonders why I don't block you on Aim" Mike: "Me? Who? Why?" "Yeah. You and May Mei. You're too unique and out there for them Mike. Thats why I talk to you." Mike:"Who are these people? I talk to Mani, Andrew, Erika, Jenni, Adam, etc. Are they in WeTP?" "You don't give in and accept things. And that scares them. Thats why they block you" Mike: "Who? Tell me so I can confront them" "Hehehehe. See thats what I mean Mike. I talk to you because Im in the middle. On the fence. Not totally in their world but not totally outside of it. Mike: "Which is best?" "I don't know" Now granted some of this is Tim's melodramtic writing style made to entertain and inflame not necessarily be factual but regardless I now ask you. Which is better? Complete freedom and honesty. To be yourself and truly unique so much so that you alienate people who just cant handle you. Or are too afraid to shatter their precious world. Or maybe to just go with the flow. Accept and absorb all that comes to you in relation to your world and what other member sof that world say about it, a mob mentality that decides who and what you are? But never need you fear alienation or feel alone? Or a more "enigmatic" approach. Straddle the fence never commit to a side enjoy the benefits and penalties of both sides? (sigh. It always comes down to solilipsism) A happy compromise? After all, the best solution is normally a merger of the two opposing viewpoints. POST your thoughts, feelings and ideas on it. Do not be shy. The unexamined life is not worth living. Though that quote certainly says the second choice is the least attractive. I guess my bias is clear On an important note: I now have an answer to a piece of my original question that started Nitor Caelum....I was better off not knowing the answer. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 7:58 PM First the boring stuff. The weekend so far has been fantastic. Friday: Insomnia which I liked. Robin Williams was a good villain and I actually managed to convince gini to go(that was unbelievable) then hanging out with Anna all night and watched yet another movie, Bandits which was great. Saturday: Gym with Anna, hanging out, serviced my car finally, and of course Sarah your party was great I had an amazing time, Anna as well and Im certain J did. For everyone's information the ocean at night is not that cold (Jason you pussy) Afterwards I was at Anna's and she fell asleep, a few minutes later so did I. I woke up around 3 am and went back to housesitting. Sunday: Well I woke up at 7 so I could get to work, blinked and it was 7:40 Ack. So 20 minutes late to work. No big deal I stayed an extra 20 minutes. Now movies like Serendipity to watch, ice cream is coming (thanx mom) and Simpsons seems like tonight will be nice too. Good Memorial weekend thus far. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 7:34 PM Friday, May 24, 2002 Jason plz ur argument is so fallacious. Ive already proven my points. The song is not empty cliches except holding onto the wings of an eagle. I dont even see how any of the other stuff is a cliche. He says a hero can save us and hes not gonna stand here and wait hes going to hold on to an eagle etc. So hes going to become a hero and i would say its metaphorical of him becoming that hero because as Ive said hes going to a higher more virtous level and he fights for a real love (the love of a hero) unlike the false kind of love that gave us a shitty world where people kill and maim and commit horrible acts in misguided love. And bad poetry can generate emotion through thoughtful perspective but that doesnt mean its good. Remember to graph it relevancy over beauty gives us its point on the graph you know.(Dead Poets Society) Theres nothing to suggest anything. Its how you wish to view the words. As for who is watching its all the non-heroes all the people that for whatever reason or another cannot stand and fight it. Maybe he even meant the movie-goers!:) Since the song was created specifically for the Spiderman movie not just used for it. As for you fighting evil Id say youd be so busy trying to decide what to do that Spider-man would have beat the Green Goblin a dozen times over:) by the time u make up ur mind. Rule 1 Mikael is always right Rule 2 If Mikael is wrong see rule 1 posted by Mikael, Shady, God 3:35 PM theres nothing wrong with leaving a song, or any other creative piece for that matter, open to interpretation. my point is, that this song relies on empty cliches to create emotion where as good poetry generates emotion through thoughtful perspectives or origional content. i see your point about love, how its open to interpretation, and thats a valid argument. however, there is nothing in the song to suggest that chad is making that argument. he just says that love gave us this shitty world. you have a decent argument about the eagles as well, but flying away in this case IS indicative of running away because earlier he says hes "not gonna stand here and wait." and you still didnt respond to who is watching as he retreats. at least, not in the context of the song. and im not watching as they fly away because im too busy dealing with what hes running away from : ) posted by Jason 3:09 PM You guys should have been at the boat race today! it was so fun! Okie..i hate the viking voice for not putting my name in the college listing..Boo posted by Midnight Shower 11:42 AM Thursday, May 23, 2002 A few answers from the all-mighty 1. Get over it Jenni schools almost over and hey I would've missed you so forget the quest days 2. Youll need to hit refresh jason I cant believe you posted that before trying it sheesh 3. Chad kroeger and Josey scott wrote it You know Chad as the lead singer of Nickelback with other awesome songs like "Too Bad" http://www.zweb-network.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?ID=spider / http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nickelback/toobad.html 4. Many songs dont exactly tell a story. Songs dont work that way and he happens to write even more abstract than others. Songs are about the emotions they inspire. I always hear fans call bands when they are doing a radio show and ask what this song means or that song means and the band always say it means what you want. Authors and artists do the same thing. Yes something will inspire them most of the time or give them the idea but the meaning is different for everyone. If you hate the song thats your business but if you're going to hate a song because it doesnt make sense well youre going to hate a lot of songs. Some songs have a very clear cut meaning, like For You which is a song by Staind I love and Im fairly certain I know what the song is talking about but Outside is much more open to interpretation. Did his girlfriend dump him cheat on him, it doesnt even necessarily have to have been his gf. Song are like poetry, extremely open to interpretation and many similar themes are addressed by radically different people. Not to mention many of the best writers always have some mental problem:) for all we know chad was high while he wrote it. I doubt it but who knows. Frost's work was constantly being analyzed and new meanings being found to it and when Frost was asked in an interview if he meant this or that he said "well I never even thought of that while I was writing or even after having read it but if someone sees that in there then thats fantastic." The world exists only in how we view it. (treads dangerous ground near solilipsism) 5. Love may be idealistically the greatest most perful force in the universe yackity yackity blah blah blah but in reality what all people do they do for love. To use another cliche just to piss you off J "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." No one considers themselves evil. Hitler thought he was doing God's work, same as Osama bin Laden. And in the real world love rarely works out the way it does in the movies see divorce rates, domestic violence statistics, etc. for verification Abusers say they hit their wives because they love them and their abused wives say they still lvoe their husbands. Granted you can argue thats not "true" love then but thats an imposible argument so dont go there. In conclusion I like that song. If you dont then just dont listen to it. By the way holding onto the wings of the eagle and flying away does not imply "running" away Eagles normally represent strength virtue all that good stuff and holding on to one is lifting them to new heights. And being lifted to new heights is indicative of one becoming better leaving pettier concerns behind. Which I would say is backed up as those people watch them fly away that dont get it. aka Jaysen Patiens;) Night All Some prefer carrot while others like cabbage. How does this relate to what i was saying? I think its obvious. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 11:02 PM that song from the spiderman soundtrack is really getting on my nerves. it sounds cool at first, and the music is great, but the words are weak. it seems like whoever wrote the song just got together a bunch of cliches and then set them to music. like the first stanza, i am so high, i can hear heaven/ but heaven cant here me. thats great, but it has nothing to do with anything in the rest of the song. then the chorus: they say that a hero can save us, im not gonna stand here and wait. what does that mean? most would say it means hes going to become a hero or something, but then he says: ill hold on to the wings of the eagle, watch as they all fly away. so they say a hero can save us, but hes not going to wait, instead hes going to run away? great message. whats next? oh ya, next he alleges that love gave us a world "full of killing, and blood spilling, (that wont ever change) (not sure about what that last part is, its hard to understand). how the hell has love created a world full of killing? its not backed up at all either, just like the rest of the song. then it does the chorus again. then, it goes into a softer sounding part, and im not sure what he says cause i havent heard it in a while, but i think it talks about giving love as a gift. thats great, now he cant make up his mind. then its just the chorus i think, then it says 'theyre watching us as we all fly away'. ok, the last part is fine, hes already established that hes running away, but who they hell is they? the eagles? so unclear. so ya, it sounds good, but i guess that is what cliches are for. heres a cliche for you; a mass of cliches doth not a good song make. posted by Jason 9:33 PM do i have to hit 'refresh' on my browser to see new posts or does it update automatically? posted by Jason 5:41 PM so, who wants to talk about episode 3? posted by Jason 5:27 PM i never took advantage of my 3 QUEST days :( maybe they will let me use them after the testimonies :p posted by Jason 5:21 PM Im glad you liked it even though getting your purse was still apparently the best part of your day. You're so materialistic jenni Tsk Tsk:) but it's ok. you have made me realize a lot about myself. i know now that i'm not a God! Disclaimer: injenue may or may not have added on to this post posted by Mikael, Shady, God 5:16 PM happy thursday. what i like best about quest is that it got me three days off school. go me. posted by Anonymous 4:39 PM Wednesday, May 22, 2002 what i like best about quest is that were the only school in the district that has to do it, but a diploma from irvington doesnt look any different from one from the other schools. we just have more work to do. posted by Jason 9:45 PM Tuesday, May 21, 2002 Today the unthinkable happened. I did my Service Presentation. A bookie somewhere is crying his eyes out. But I can live with that. My procrastination amazes even me at times. Sometimes I know I absolutely must do it tonight or Im going to be FUBARed and I choose to sleep. Everyone always seemed shock that I do not care about graduating, or that I do not do work that I can do. Why? To be quite honest I fear change and Im lazy. Not in the hide-in-the-closet way but in the it causes me duress and I prefer not to think about it kind of way. And lets be honest. Its also society's fault. (Isnt everything) They (teachers counselors etc.) keep pushing back that ABSOLUTE last deadline. It makes it hard to see that line when it truly comes. Did you know you only have to be 18 to go to a junior college? and that you can still transfer? I love America. What about that ridiculously easy G.E.D.? America and the current school system want nothing more than for you to succeed. Its almost impossible to screw yourself without deliberately choosing to. Only in America could I still have the shadow of a chance of walking down some stupid aisle in a hideous cap and gown I do not even want to wear. Kind of sad really when you consider how many people still dont make it. ...Admittedly I also have some arrogance that stops me. Why do I have to write this damn essay? Its not even really a challenge. I COULD do it. I KNOW I could do it. ...But why? Why waste time on it. Its not a challenge. Its not to get me into a good college so I can get a good job so I can get married and have a house and kids then retire and die which seems to be the master plan everyone else does it for. (Or some variation) Why cant they just pass me? Im capable and my laziness makes me want that to be enough. Ive always viewed school as a means of gaining knowledge and becoming educated. If I feel I already know the subject it almost disgusts me sitting down and pounding out work to PROVE it. Mrs. Cook-Kallio says its intent not form so in my mind Im done. Ive got the knowledge the assignment intended for me to know but I get a 0 for not turning it in. So I know Mrs. CK is wrong. Some of it is form. Proof is important. Perhaps more important than the actual intent. Society makes it so because we cannot know when intent has been fulfilled all we can have is the form and hope that its enough proof that the intent has been fulfilled. People say its all about sincerity, once you can fake that you've got it made. Proof is the same way. Faking it is better than not having it. Maybe not better for other people but certainly better for yourself. As smart as Id like to think I am, Its taken me a long time to learn this. What do you think? Form or Intent? A diamond with a flaw is preferable to a common stone with none. Is it? posted by Mikael, Shady, God 11:06 PM Sees Jaysen has posted BEFORE fixing his name. Which only requires him going to his name and editing his profile. (lightning bolt rips into Jaysen for untold of damage) And that is just my warning. Change it! And Mikael is gone. posted by Mikael, Shady, God 10:20 PM math. who needs it. the other day i thought i had actually found a reason to use math. until analytic geometry, things were pretty dull in math class. "when am i ever, EVER, going to use this stuff?" was my motto. until analytic geometry, i would have nightmares about walking down the street, when i suddenly get pulled into a dark alley and told to find the derivative of f(x)= 2x^4 or die. but then i find analytic geometry. see, analytic geometry is what is used to find the proper position of the reciever port in satellite dishes. FINALLY! no more wasting time with pointless things that i dont understand and will only use when i fail a test sometime down the road. i thought that i had found in analytic geometry a reason to go on with math. and right when this light at the end of my tunnel is brightest, when i think ill never have to worry about math being wothless again i realize.... ...i have cable posted by Jason 9:47 PM I agree. I thought it would use my username, which is Jaysen Patiens. Can I just change it or do I have to make a new account? posted by Jason 9:16 PM I agree with injenue. Its funny how you say your name is Jaysen Patiens yet below it is Jason Hall. Decrees Jason shall fix his name or be severely punished(lightning bolt) posted by Mikael, Shady, God 8:02 PM "...down upon the road. And the stars shined brightly, but there was one that shined brightest. Jaysen focused his attention upon it, and in that moment there was a great sound, louder than that of the sea crashing upon the rocks. Then there was a man standing upon the road. He put forth his hand and beckoned to Jaysen. Jaysen stepped towards him, and was then of a sudden transported to a place in the heavens called the Nitor Caelum. There he spoke to Caelestis, and was found to be of a substance greater than that of mortal men. Caelestis invited Jaysen, now known as Jaysen Patiens, to congregate with the others of the Nitor Caelum. Jaysen accepted, for he Knew this was good, and so joined the Bellum a Nescio." posted by Jason 5:44 PM Monday, May 20, 2002 No else here? My car is too damn slow. posted by Anonymous 10:08 PM I would steal a very fast car and just have my way in it...and if I'm lucky...well, I shorten those 24 hours. But hey, that's just my taste. So if me, you, our anyone else had 24 hours to live...Carpe Diem? Sure, as long as it's completely and utterly for the self, and no one else? Heck your the one who's dying. What are the authorities going to do...kill you? posted by Anonymous 8:17 PM Boom! posted by Anonymous 8:15 PM Ive been pondering. Yes pondering. I want a lifethreatening illness giving me 24 hours to live and not a second more. Imagine what I could do and how freely I could live. No FEAR. No RESTRAINT. No CHANGE. True Carpe Diem. Only the present would matter. The one thing I fear is the future...and the accompanyning change. I know thats two. I would tell certain people certain things without risking the shape of the future. The future holds us back I say death sets us free. If we knew what our expiration date was we wouldnt waste a minute before we went sour. We could truly appreciate and be grateful. Death would be tangible no longer an abstract concept until we lay dying. And we could know in the reflecting of our lives as we pass on, that not a single moment was wasted. I wish I was dying tomorrow rather than just slowly. The death of the heart is the saddest thing that can happen to you. What do you think? A Jade stone is useless before it is processed; a man is good-for-nothing until he is educated. So do not dismiss. think posted by Mikael, Shady, God 2:40 PM Sunday, May 19, 2002 Solipsism What are emotions and thoughts? Which takes precedence? Are my emotions merely how I THINK I should feel? If so then emotions are empty and meaningless and a machine can be truly human through emulation. Am I a machine? Have you ever wondered if you were a machine? Hard-wired to be angry at things, love certain people, envious through greed? And what of those grey areas in our lives where emotions are not so clear-cut? Can an emotion be wrong or is how we FEEL always "right" so long as our actions coincide with what society allows? What if its an action society doesn't care about? Should I do it? Is it moral? Is morality real? Ive always thought morality was dictated and depended upon your view and the culture you lived in. Could I justify my actions I feel are immoral if I point out so&so says it is ok? Have you ever discovered that you are a stranger? I have... I am ALONE. I NEED to know are my feelings real? I hope this helps. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So here I go posted by Mikael, Shady, God 11:25 PM